Happy Rosh Hashanah

I have just received a Rosh Hashanah greeting from Sarah Palin and thought I’d share it with you.

As Jewish families gather to celebrate the New Year and a new beginning marking the Day of Creation, I want to join them in praying for a good and sweet year ahead. This day marks the beginning of a period of reflection and repentance. It is a time to remember our responsibilities to our families, our communities, our country, and our world.

This is also a time to remember who we are as Americans and our responsibilities to help our friends and allies as they seek peace and security. The people of Israel have overcome so many challenges, taken so many risks, and made so many sacrifices in the pursuit of peace and a better life for their children. This New Year begins with a new hope for peace, but the threats to Israel – and to us – have not gone away.

These are challenging times as Iran continues to work on building a nuclear weapon, Hamas attacks innocents on the eve of peace talks, enemies refuse to recognize Israel’s right to exist, and even in Europe and the United States we hear voices from those trying to delegitimize Israel.

To our Jewish friends and neighbors on this Rosh Hashanah, may you be inscribed in the Book of Life. And for our friends in Israel, know that the American people will continue to stand with you in this New Year as you strive for peace and security.

Shanah tovah u’metukah.
- Sarah Palin


The New York City Public Schools have officially declared Jewish English, now dubbed Hebronics, as a second language. Backers of the move say the city schools are the first in the nation to recognize Hebronics as a valid language and a significant attribute of American culture.

According to Howard Ashland, linguistics professor at Brooklyn College and renowned Hebronics scholar, the sentence structure of Hebronics derives from middle and eastern European language patterns, as well as Yiddish.

Professor Schulman explains,
‘In Hebronics, the response to any question is usually another question with a complaint that is either implied or stated.

Thus ‘How are you?’ may be answered, ‘How should I be, with my bad feet?’

Schulman says that Hebronics is a superb linguistic vehicle for expressing sarcasm or skepticism. An example is the repetition of a word with ’sh’ or ’shm’ at the beginning: ‘Mountains, shmountains. Stay away. You should want a nosebleed?’

Another Hebronics pattern is moving the subject of a sentence to the end, with its pronoun at the beginning: ‘It’s beautiful, that dress.’

Schulman says one also sees the Hebronics verb moved to the end of the sentence. Thus the response to a remark such as ‘He’s slow as a turtle,’ could be: ‘Turtle, shmurtle! Like a fly in Vaseline he walks.’

Schulman provided the following examples from his best-selling textbook, Switched-On Hebronics:

Question: ‘What time is it?’
English answer: ‘Sorry, I don’t know.’
Hebronic response: ‘What am I, a clock?’

Remark: ‘I hope things turn out okay.’
English answer: ‘Thanks.’
Hebronic response: ‘I should be so lucky!’

Remark: ‘Hurry up Dinner’s ready.’
English answer: ‘Be right there.’
Hebronic response: ‘Alright already, I’m coming.
What’s with the ‘hurry’ business? Is there a fire?’

Remark: ‘I like the tie you gave me; I wear it all the time.’
English answer: ‘Glad you like it.’
Hebronic response: ‘So what’s the matter; you don’t like the other ties I gave you?’

Remark: ‘Sarah and I are engaged.’
English answer: ‘Congratulations!’
Hebronic response: ‘She could stand to lose a few pounds.’

Question: ‘Would you like to go riding with us?’
English answer: ‘Just say when.’
Hebronic response: ‘Riding, shmiding! Do I look like a cowboy?’

To the guest of honor at a birthday party:
English answer: ‘Happy birthday.’
Hebronic response: ‘A year smarter you should become.’

Remark: ‘It’s a beautiful day.’
English answer: ‘Sure is.’
Hebronic response: ‘So the sun is out; what else is new?’

Answering a phone call from a son:
English answer: ‘It’s been a while since you called.’
Hebronic response: ‘You didn’t wonder if I’m dead already?’

Taking My Dad For Shoes

I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he is 84)…

We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him.
The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors – green, red, orange, and blue.

My dad kept staring at him.

The teenager kept looking and would find my dad staring every time.

When the teenager had had enough, he sarcastically asked, “What’s the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?”

Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response; I knew he would have a good one!

In classic style he responded without batting an eyelid ….

“Got stoned once and screwed a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son.”

Economics and medicine

An Israeli doctor said, ‘Medicine in my country is so advanced, we can take
a kidney out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work
in six weeks’.

A German doctor said, ‘That’s nothing! In Germany, we can take a lung out of
one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks’.

A Russian doctor said, ‘In my country medicine is so advanced, we can take
half a heart from one person, put it in another, and have them both looking
for work in two weeks’.

The English doctor, not to be outdone, said ‘Hah!. We can take two arseholes
out of Scotland, put them in 10 & 11 Downing Street and have half the
country looking for work within twenty-four hours’.

The IDF in Haiti

I promised I’d write a blog about Israel’s response to the Haiti earthquake crisis due to the lack of reporting happening in the British media (surprise surprise).

The IDF search and rescue delegation landed in Haiti on January 15th and the Medical and Rescue Team immediately set up a field hospital in Port-Au-Prince and began to treat patients there.  In addition, the forces started locating and rescuing survivors trapped in ruined buildings, including many who were injured during the collapse of the UN headquarters.

The IDF field hospital is currently the most advanced medical facility in the area, with intensive care units, operating rooms and maternity/delivery rooms, as well as over 40 doctors and specialists.  The field hospital has been set up on a football pitch:

Link to Google Maps – here

So, what are the stats? Well, as of writing this post it has been reported that the IDF Field Hospital has so far treated 383 people including dozens of children.  140 life saving operations were executed and seven babies were delivered. As of now, approximately 60 patients are being treated in different departments of the hospital.  Last night, two children who were trapped under the ruins of a building for seven days and then rescued by an American team were brought to the IDF hospital for treatment.

So, this is just a taster of how the Israelis have responded to the crisis in Haiti.  Please remember this when people start telling you that Israel is an evil country and abuses human rights.

You can find out more information from Twitter, YouTube and the IDF Blog.

I’ll leave you with a video produced by Neil Lazarus of Awesomeseminars.com

Please forward a link to the post to at least 5 people.