Archive for January, 2006

WWCD

Forget about WWJD, no more WWMD and definately none of WWBBD. The time has come for WWCD.

So, what is WWCD?

Simple really, it stands for What Would Chuck Do and it refers to Chuck Norris, the legendary actor of action/martial arts films. Some people may not know, but Chuck was also World Professional MiddleWeight Karate Champion, retiring from competitive Karate in 1974 after being undefeated for six years.

I can hear you all now:

“Shut up and get on with it Martyn! What the hell are you on about?”

Okay, so what I’m on about is random facts, specifically random facts about Chuck Norris. I’ve been revising hard over the last two weeks, had two exams and my last one is this Friday, but the one thing that has kept me laughing and (close to) sane has been the random facts.

These facts are not true, they are just random facts that have been made up. Even the big man (Chuck) has commented on them on his website.

So, to end, please amuse yourselves by visiting the Chuck Norris Facts website or the Random Facts Generator that has random facts not just on Chuck Norris, but on Mr. T and Vin Diesel.

Hilarious!!

Status Quo

So what am I getting at with this one? Well, most of you will know that I’m a student and I live with 10 other students. Students are very often referred to as ‘The Great Unwashed’. I never really appreciated this term, that is, until today after I returned from a long and tiring day at uni.

You know that feeling, when you are so hungry, that you want to start trying to eat your own face? Well I was close to that today. I got in from uni and made my way to the kitchen and what laid before me was not a site usually partnered with a kitchen. It was a site that a biological-agent tipped interballistic missile would be proud of. Bins overflowing, pots and pans not washed and every work surface caked in a fine film of spilt tomato ketchup, beans and coffee. It was absolutely disgraceful that anybody has let the kitchen fall into this state.

Jon and I spent 4 hours, just over a week ago, cleaning and scrubbing the kitchen so that it would be nice for all our housemates when they return. Well, they’ve now been back for just over a week and it’s worse than ever. I completely refuse to clean in there, I will not prepare a meal or eat anything in there!!

I’ll let you guys make up your own desicions, here’s the pictures (they’re thumbnail links, so click on them to go to a larger version).

Martyn x

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Hell

So, where is this post taking me, talking about hell and everything. Well, basically, I wanted to share an e-mail that I received, which I thought was bloody hilarious:

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so “profound” that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

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Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that “it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,” and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is, therefore, extinct… leaving only Heaven and thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting “Oh my God!”

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY “A”.

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Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did!!

Advice

I dunno, there seems to be a lot of people that turn to me for advice. It happens every which way that I turn.

This, to me is both good and bad. Good because it’s nice to feel that people trust you and your knowledge enough to ask for the advice, but bad because sometimes you can give as much advice as you can, hopefully it is all good, and that advice is just ignored completely. Don’t get me wrong, I like to give advice, but only if I feel that I have some knowledge of that particular area. I will always try and help somebody through anything, but that may be by pointing them towards other people.

Today I felt that giving advice will be something that I will be doing a lot of if my plans for my future go according to the ‘blueprints’.

As you can see, it is nearly 05:00 and I’ve still not gone to bed. I’m unsure what is wrong with me as I have done plenty to tire myself out today. I’ve been to the gym for a good hour or so, flushed Jo’s dead fish, got drunk and endured freezing temperatures waiting on the Rochdale Train Station platform for 50 minutes. Surely, according to science, I should be well into my travels through the ‘land of nod’ by now.

I think, I’ll leave it there for now and try and get myself to sleep, even if it does mean hitting myself in the head with a hammer several times.

Good night!!!!

A Born Leader

I was thinking today about Ariel Sharon, I was thinking today about leadership, I was thinking “what makes a good leader, are we born leaders or do we have to learn this trait?”.

There have been various times in my life that I have had to lead people, I have always felt comfortable doing it, I have always found it easy, sometimes stressfull, but always satisfying. Why?

In reflecting on Ariel Sharons past, I came across an intersting part of his biography. Salah Halabi, the Chief of Staff of the Egyptian Armed Forces says of Sharon “Sharon was a good military leader. We cannot deny this, but he wasn’t very disciplined.”

In the 1973 Yom Kippur War, Ariel Sharon, then a high ranking leader within the army, took his troops on a daring (and successful) operation to cross the Suez Canal (towards Halabi’s troop) completely against the orders of then Minister of Defense Moshe Dayan. Over the past year, we have also seen him unilateraly pull-out of the Gaza Strip, something that was completely against the wishes and ideaology of the Likud political party that he headed as Prime Minister. Why did he not follow orders in 1973 and still not over 30 years later in 2005?

On thinking about this I realised that a good leader is somebody who can adapt, but still keep the greater picture in mind. Somebody who is selfless and their actions are for the benefit of the people that they are leading. Ariel Sharon changed the perception of peace in the Middle East. He turned it from ‘Land for Peace’ to ‘Security for Independance’, not ‘we give you land, you give us peace’, but ‘we get security (with or without you) and you’ll get independance’. He realised that both sides wanted different things to what had been negotiated before hand, since 1967 and changed the whole world perception to this. He was a strong leader with an overwhelming, powerful presence and was able to exude assurance that his convictions were the sensible ones.

I would have loved to have met him, find out what makes him tick and speak with him on his personal philosophies on leadership. Even though I have never had this opportunity, I will take him as an influence for the rest of my life.