According to Howard Ashland, linguistics professor at Brooklyn College and renowned Hebronics scholar, the sentence structure of Hebronics derives from middle and eastern European language patterns, as well as Yiddish.

Professor Schulman explains,
‘In Hebronics, the response to any question is usually another question with a complaint that is either implied or stated.

Thus ‘How are you?’ may be answered, ‘How should I be, with my bad feet?’

Schulman says that Hebronics is a superb linguistic vehicle for expressing sarcasm or skepticism. An example is the repetition of a word with ’sh’ or ’shm’ at the beginning: ‘Mountains, shmountains. Stay away. You should want a nosebleed?’

Another Hebronics pattern is moving the subject of a sentence to the end, with its pronoun at the beginning: ‘It’s beautiful, that dress.’

Schulman says one also sees the Hebronics verb moved to the end of the sentence. Thus the response to a remark such as ‘He’s slow as a turtle,’ could be: ‘Turtle, shmurtle! Like a fly in Vaseline he walks.’

Schulman provided the following examples from his best-selling textbook, Switched-On Hebronics:

Question: ‘What time is it?’
English answer: ‘Sorry, I don’t know.’
Hebronic response: ‘What am I, a clock?’

Remark: ‘I hope things turn out okay.’
English answer: ‘Thanks.’
Hebronic response: ‘I should be so lucky!’

Remark: ‘Hurry up Dinner’s ready.’
English answer: ‘Be right there.’
Hebronic response: ‘Alright already, I’m coming.
What’s with the ‘hurry’ business? Is there a fire?’

Remark: ‘I like the tie you gave me; I wear it all the time.’
English answer: ‘Glad you like it.’
Hebronic response: ‘So what’s the matter; you don’t like the other ties I gave you?’

Remark: ‘Sarah and I are engaged.’
English answer: ‘Congratulations!’
Hebronic response: ‘She could stand to lose a few pounds.’

Question: ‘Would you like to go riding with us?’
English answer: ‘Just say when.’
Hebronic response: ‘Riding, shmiding! Do I look like a cowboy?’

To the guest of honor at a birthday party:
English answer: ‘Happy birthday.’
Hebronic response: ‘A year smarter you should become.’

Remark: ‘It’s a beautiful day.’
English answer: ‘Sure is.’
Hebronic response: ‘So the sun is out; what else is new?’

Answering a phone call from a son:
English answer: ‘It’s been a while since you called.’
Hebronic response: ‘You didn’t wonder if I’m dead already?’

We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him.
The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors – green, red, orange, and blue.

My dad kept staring at him.

The teenager kept looking and would find my dad staring every time.

When the teenager had had enough, he sarcastically asked, “What’s the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?”

Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response; I knew he would have a good one!

In classic style he responded without batting an eyelid ….

“Got stoned once and screwed a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son.”

A German doctor said, ‘That’s nothing! In Germany, we can take a lung out of
one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks’.

A Russian doctor said, ‘In my country medicine is so advanced, we can take
half a heart from one person, put it in another, and have them both looking
for work in two weeks’.

The English doctor, not to be outdone, said ‘Hah!. We can take two arseholes
out of Scotland, put them in 10 & 11 Downing Street and have half the
country looking for work within twenty-four hours’.

The IDF search and rescue delegation landed in Haiti on January 15th and the Medical and Rescue Team immediately set up a field hospital in Port-Au-Prince and began to treat patients there.  In addition, the forces started locating and rescuing survivors trapped in ruined buildings, including many who were injured during the collapse of the UN headquarters.

The IDF field hospital is currently the most advanced medical facility in the area, with intensive care units, operating rooms and maternity/delivery rooms, as well as over 40 doctors and specialists.  The field hospital has been set up on a football pitch:

Link to Google Maps – here

So, what are the stats? Well, as of writing this post it has been reported that the IDF Field Hospital has so far treated 383 people including dozens of children.  140 life saving operations were executed and seven babies were delivered. As of now, approximately 60 patients are being treated in different departments of the hospital.  Last night, two children who were trapped under the ruins of a building for seven days and then rescued by an American team were brought to the IDF hospital for treatment.

So, this is just a taster of how the Israelis have responded to the crisis in Haiti.  Please remember this when people start telling you that Israel is an evil country and abuses human rights.

You can find out more information from Twitter, YouTube and the IDF Blog.

I’ll leave you with a video produced by Neil Lazarus of Awesomeseminars.com

Please forward a link to the post to at least 5 people.

Martyn

He opened his newspaper and began reading and after a few minutes he
turned to the priest and asked, ‘Say Father, what causes arthritis?’

The priest replies, ‘My Son, it’s caused by loose living, being with cheap,
wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping
around with prostitutes and lack of a bath.’

The drunk muttered in response, ‘Well, I’ll be damned, ‘ Then returned to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized.
‘I’m very sorry. I didn’t mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?’

The drunk answered, ‘I don’t have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does.’

http://bobskisblog.blogspot.com

Enjoy!

Severe draught has left water levels so low that the lake bed is dry and cracked for several meters until any water can be further into the lake.

The tragedy is that you don’t have to be Jesus Christ anymore to walk here on the Sea of Galilee.

-Gidon Bromberg, Friends Of The Earth

This lake provides a third of all the water in Israel and some people say that mismanagement by the Israeli Water Authorities have left it in this state. Nobody really knows who is to blame, but the point is that something needs to be done before a catastrophe befalls upon this place of beauty, history and social importance.

I spent a few days on the shore of this beautiful lake in January this year and it is a special place that the people of Israel need to look after. It will be hard to conserve water even more so than they already do, but if anybody can manage with less water, it’s the Israelis.

Swimming in The Kinneret

So what is wrong with British society? Well, I could list issues such as rising knife crime, younger pregnancies, increasing amounts of intrusions into civil liberties and ludicrous financial mis-management by the government.

Today in the news I read the story of Samantha Orobator, who could potentially face death by firing squad in Laos if found guilty of trying to smuggle heroin out of the country. So, now charities and her family are demanding that the British Government does something about it and tries to get her released and brought back to Britain. I’m sorry, what? Hard earned tax payers money is going to be spent on sending over the best lawyers to a foreign country to try to secure the release of a women who knew what she was getting into before carrying out the (alleged) crime.

Answer me this, would we not expect a foreigner to be suitably punished by the laws of this land should they commit a crime here? Or would we be ok with them being sent back to their country to go about their life with all the freedom they can wish for.

This and other events over the last six months have got me thinking – how can we Fix Broken Britain? Has it got the point of no return? Can anything be done to restore this country to it’s correct standing in the world?

I’d like to throw my answer into the hat for consideration by the powers that be.

We should make a return to the Victorian era for manners, discipline in our schools and general etiquette within society.

Over the next few weeks I’m going to be blogging about how a return to some Victorian principles can help fix broken Britain.

Basically, I have a spreadsheet where I need to enter the date automatically based upon what is in column A and column B.

So, column A is the week column (1-4) and column B is the day column (Sat-Fri). I have a grid hidden in the worksheet that shows the dates, based on what the user enters as the period start date (Saturday).

So, I need the cells in column C to do this (natural language):

If column A is equal to 1 and column B is equal to “Sat” then column C will equal the contents of the cell AB8. If column A is equal to 1 and column B is equal to “Sun” then column C will equal the contents of the cell AB9. etc etc etc

Anybody have any ideas as to how I would go about this. My brain has stopped working and I need some pointers.

Thanks.

While I was in the airport, returning home, I heard several people
behind me beginning to clap and cheer.

I immediately turned around and witnessed one of the greatest acts of
patriotism I have ever seen.

Moving through the terminal was a group of soldiers in their uniforms,
as they began heading to their gate everyone (well almost everyone) was
abruptly to their feet with their hands waving and cheering.

When I saw the soldiers, probably 30-40 of them, being applauded and
cheered for, it hit me. I’m not alo ne. I’m not the only red blooded
Briton who still loves this country and supports our troops and their
families. Of course I immediately stopped and began clapping for these
young unsung heroes who are putting their lives on the line everyday for
us so we can go to school, work, and enjoy our home without fear or
reprisal.

Just when I thought I could not be more proud of my country or of our
service men and women a young girl, not more than 6 or 7 years old, ran
up to one of the male soldiers.

He knelt down and said ‘hi,’ the little girl then asked him if he would
give something to her daddy for her.

The young soldier didn’t look any older than maybe 22 himself, said he
would try and what did she want to20give to her daddy.

Suddenly the little girl grabbed the neck of this soldier, gave him the
biggest hug she could muster and then kissed him on the cheek.

The mother of the little girl, who said her daughters name was Courtney,
told the young soldier that her husband was a Corporal and had been in
Afghanistan for 5 months now.

As the mum was explaining how much her daughter, Courtney, missed her
father, the young soldier began to tear up.

When this temporarily single mum was done explaining her situation, all
of the soldiers huddled together for a brief second.

Then one of the other servicemen pulled out a military looking
walkie-talkie.

They started playing with the=2 0device and talking back and forth on
it.

After about 10-15 seconds of this, the young soldier walked back over to
Courtney, bent down and said this to her, ‘I spoke to your daddy and he
told me to give this to you.’

He then hugged this little girl that he had just met and gave her a Kiss
on the cheek.

He finished by saying ‘Your daddy told me to tell you that he loves you
more than anything and he is coming home very soon.’

The mum at this point was crying almost uncontrollably and as the young
soldier stood to his feet he saluted Courtney and her mum.

I was standing no more than 6 feet away as this entire event unfolded.

As the soldiers began to leave, heading towards their
gate, people resumed their applause.

As I stood there applauding and looked around, there were very few dry
eyes, including my own.

That young soldier in one last act of moment turned around and blew a
kiss to Courtney with a tear rolling down his cheek.

We need to remember everyday all of our soldiers and their families and
thank God for them and their sacrifices.

At the end of the day, it’s good to be an Englishman.

RED FRIDAYS

Very soon, you will see a great many people wearing Red every Friday.

The reason?

Englishmen and women who support our troops used to be called the ‘
silent majority’.

We are no longer silent, and are voicing our love for Country and home
in record breaking numbers.

We are not organized, boisterous or over-bearing.

We get no liberal media coverage on TV, to reflect our message or our
opinions.

Many English people, like you, me and all our friends, simply want to
recognize that the vast majority of Britain supports our troops.

Our idea of showing solidarity and support for our troops with dignity
and respect starts this Friday and continues each and every Friday until
the troops all come home, sending a deafening message that every Briton
who supports our men and women afar will wear something red.

By word of mouth, press, TV — let’s make Great Britain on every Friday
a sea of red much like a hom
ecoming football team

If every one of us who loves this country will share this with
acquaintances, co-workers, friends, and family, It will not be long
before Britain is covered in RED and it will let our troops know the
once ’silent’ majority is on their side more than ever, certainly more
than the media lets on.

The first thing a soldier says when asked ‘What can we do to make things
better for you?’ is…’We need your support and your prayers’…

Let’s get the word out and lead with class and dignity, by example; and
wear something red every Friday.

IF YOU AGREE — THEN SEND THIS ON

IF YOU COULD NOT CARE LESS THEN HIT THE DELETE BUTTON.

IT IS YOUR CHOICE.

THEIR BLOOD RUNS RED—- SO WEAR RED! —

Lest we forget.