Seven Dwarfs speak out on Pluto saga

August 29th, 2006
Filed under Current Affairs, Humour

Los Angeles - Pluto may have been cast out to the darkest reaches of the Solar System but will always be a friend to the Seven Dwarfs.

The Walt Disney characters have issued a hard-hitting statement after the world’s top astrononomical body decided on Thursday to relegate Pluto to the lowly status of a “dwarf planet”.

School textbooks will have to be rewritten - and Mickey Mouse’s faithful companion is said by Disney insiders to be anguished over the fate of his planetary namesake.

But the Seven Dwarfs are not taking it lying down.

“Although we think it’s DOPEY that Pluto has been downgraded to a dwarf planet, which has made some people GRUMPY and others just SLEEPY, we are not BASHFUL in saying we would be HAPPY if Disney’s Pluto would join us as an eighth dwarf,” they insisted.

“We think this is just what the DOC ordered and is nothing to SNEEZE at.”

Pluto the dog made his debut in 1930 - the same year that a 24-year-old American astronomer, Clyde Tombaugh, discovered what until now was called the ninth and outermost planet.

A white-gloved, yellow-shoed source close to Disney’s top dog said: “I think the whole thing is goofy.

“Pluto has never been interested in astronomy before, other than maybe an occasional howl at the moon.”

Mickey Mouse was unavailable for comment.

[tag]pluto, disney, seven dwarfs, mickey mouse, Clyde Tombaugh, planet, solar system[/tag]

You can’t be a table and also a chair

August 26th, 2006
Filed under Current Affairs

Reuters reports today that comedian Jackie Mason is suing Jews for Jesus for $4million.

Jews for Jesus thought it was amusing to put comedian Jackie Mason’s image on a pamphlet aimed at converting Jews to Christianity, but Mason found it no laughing matter and has sued the group for $4 million (2.1 million pounds).

“I found it disgusting and obnoxious, and I find it even more disgusting and obnoxious that the spokesman for that organisation says, ‘Why doesn’t he have a sense of humour about it?’” Mason, 75 and famously Jewish, told Reuters on Friday.

“It’s like if they kidnap my children and say, ‘So what, you never saw a child before?’”

Mason’s lawyer filed the suit in New York Supreme Court on Wednesday, and Jews for Jesus on Friday asked a federal court to take the case. It is now up to a federal judge to decide which court should have jurisdiction.

It’s the quotes from his affidavit that make me smile though.

“As everyone knows, I am as Jewish as a matzoh ball or kosher salami (not to mention that I was an ordained rabbi),”

“He’s a public persona. It postulated that even someone as Jewish as Jackie Mason could come to faith in Jesus if he wanted to,” said Susan Perlman, a spokeswoman for the group. “It’s humorous, hardly labelling him a Jew for Jesus. … We thought it would be flattering to him,” she said.

Mason was having none of that though. “First of all there’s no such thing as a Jew for Jesus. If you believe in Jesus you’re a Christian. That’s the point of Christianity. You can’t be a table and also a chair.

“I have to develop a whole new act now,” said Mason, who accused the group of stealing his “schtick” of poking fun at the differences between Jews and Gentiles.

[tag]Jackie Mason, Jews for Jesus, gentiles, jews, comedian, legal[/tag]

Firm with Nazi past buys 25% stake of Israeli daily

August 16th, 2006
Filed under Current Affairs

(from the Jerusalem Post)

Salman Schocken was a Jewish department store magnate-turned-publisher who fled Germany for pre-state Israel after the Nazis took power. Now, his Israeli heirs have sold 25 percent of their liberal Haaretz newspaper to a German publisher with a Nazi past.

The DuMont Schauberg Group, one of Germany’s largest media concerns, recently paid €25 million for its stake in the Israeli daily.

In Nazi times, the publishing house was headed by Kurt DuMont, a member of the Nazi party who was decorated by the Nazi regime, company executive Peter Pauls told Haaretz in an interview published Wednesday.

The DuMonts, Pauls said, “had to keep operating a company when the Nazis came to power, and they did the minimum required to survive at that time.”

Kurt DuMont’s 78-year-old son, Alfred, the group’s current owner, has no Nazi ties, and shouldn’t be tarred by his father’s deeds, Amos Schocken, Salman’s grandson, told the Yediot Aharonot newspaper on Wednesday.

“There is no reason to foist upon him, or upon the company he now heads, responsibility for an earlier era,” Schocken said.

Haaretz, Israel’s third-largest newspaper, had been wholly owned by the Schocken family since Salman Schocken founded it 89 years ago.

Bomb Plot: Ex Met boss Lord Stevens gives his solution to Britains terror nightmare

August 13th, 2006
Filed under Current Affairs

In todays News of the World, Lord Stevens - a former Cheif Constable of the Metropolitan Police gives his views on the latest events in the ongoing battle against Islamic Terrorism:

IF YOU’RE A MUSLIM - IT’S YOUR PROBLEM
WHEN will the Muslims of Britain stand up to be counted?
When will they declare, loud and clear, with no qualifications or quibbles about Britain’s foreign policy, that Islamic terrorism is WRONG?

Most of all, when will the Muslim community in this country accept an absolute, undeniable, total truth: that Islamic terrorism is THEIR problem? THEY own it. And it is THEIR duty to face it and eradicate it.

To stop the denial, endless fudging and constant wailing that somehow it is everyone else’s problem and, if Islamic terrorism exists at all, they are somehow the main victims.

Because until that happens the problem will never be resolved. And there will be more 7/7s and, sometime in the future, another airplane plot will succeed with horrific loss of innocent life.

Equally important, those British politicians who have seemed obsessed with pandering to, and even encouraging, this state of denial, must throw off their politically-correct blinkers and recognise the same truth—that Muslim terrorism in Britain is the direct responsibility of British Muslims.

If only they would follow the lead of Home Secretary John Reid, whose tough, pragmatic, clear-sighted approach has been a breath of fresh air. Only then can they properly work out how to tackle it.

For instance, every airport in Britain is in chaos over the plane bomb-plot alert as every passenger is subjected to rigorous security checks. Why? They take lots of time, lots of staff, and are extremely expensive.

I’m a white 62-year-old 6ft 4ins suit-wearing ex-cop—I fly often, but do I really fit the profile of suicide bomber? Does the young mum with three tots? The gay couple, the rugby team, the middle-aged businessman?

No. But they are all getting exactly the same amount and devouring huge resources for no logical reason whatsoever. Yet the truth is Islamic terrorism in the West has been universally carried out by young Muslim men, usually of ethnic appearance, almost always travelling alone or in very small groups. A tiny percentage, I bet, of those delayed today have such characteristics.

This targeting of airport resources is called passenger profiling—the Israelis invented it and they’ve got probably the safest airports and airlines in the world.

In all my years at the front line of fighting terrorism, one truth was always clear — communities beat terrorists, not governments or security forces. But communities can’t beat terrorism unless they have the will to do so. My heart sank this week as I saw and read the knee-jerk reaction of friends and neighbours of those arrested in this latest incident, insisting it was all a mistake and the anti-terrorist squad had the wrong people.

I have no idea whether those arrested are guilty or not. But neither have those friends and neighbours. They spoke as if it was inconceivable such a thing could happen in their community; that those arrested were all good Muslims; that Islam is a religion of peace so no Muslim could dream of planning such an act.

But we heard the same from the family and friends of the 7/7 bombers, didn’t we?

And the two young British Muslims who died as suicide bombers in Israel. Then there are the British Muslims known to have become suicide bombers in Iraq.

There is currently a huge, long-running and complex alleged Islamist bomb plot being tried at the Old Bailey. And a fistful of other cases of alleged Muslim terrorism plots such as the 21/7 London Underground case are also awaiting trial.

All this would suggest the blindingly obvious—that terrorism is a major problem for the Muslim community of Britain. Of course, there will be instant squealings that this is racism. It’s not. It’s exactly the same as recognising that, during the Northern Ireland troubles that left thousands dead, the IRA were totally based in the Catholic community and the UVF in the Protestant.

And that, most importantly, IRA terrorism only began to draw to a close when that Catholic community it was based in decided as a whole that it was no longer prepared to back violence as the only way forward. Interestingly, it was Catholic revulsion over republican terrorist atrocities such as Enniskillen and Omagh that fuelled that change.

Well, Muslim terrorism in Britain is based in, has its roots in, and grows in, our Muslim community. The madmen of 7/7 and other suicide bombings didn’t hide among the Hindu communities, worship in the Sikh temples, recruit at Catholic churches, did they? It may be true that events in Iraq have angered sections of the Muslim community. I have no doubts, whatever Tony Blair says, that it was a catalyst. I also think it’s entirely fair for Muslims, if they wish, to vocally oppose Britain’s continuing involvement there.

I can recognise, too, that recent events in Lebanon inflame some people, and they want their voices of protest heard. The absolutely unacceptable problem is that this opposition is used by too many to turn a blind eye to, or excuse, terrorists in their midst.

Blasting a passenger airliner out of the sky, killing hundreds of innocent men, women and children, is NEVER acceptable. Under any circumstances. There is NEVER an excuse.

A terrible tragedy costing Muslim lives in Lebanon or Iraq or Afghanistan is never ever an excuse for terrorism here.

It is totally unacceptable, totally wrong. What one party perceives as a wrong, no matter how strongly they feel, does not, in turn, justify another wrong being done to avenge it.

And until every single member of the Muslim community believes that and preaches that—from an ordinary parent to imam or madrassa teacher—terrorism can’t be beaten.

Politicians must accept this truth, and do something about it. One example would be to tackle this chaos at our airports and the passenger profiling I described earlier. Another must is to reconsider ID cards. The importance of knowing whether someone really is who they say they are has never been higher.

This must be combined with improved border controls, logging exactly who goes OUT of the country as well as who comes in should also be reconsidered, whatever the politically correct among us may say. The time terrorism suspects are kept in custody before charge has also caused dissent. Currently the maximum is 28 days—it may well be this should be reconsidered and, if necessary, raised again to, say, 42 days.

Plainly, Muslim terrorism isn’t going away. We need to consider everything in our battle to defeat it. But that’s the responsibility of all.

Not least the community where, sadly for them, it is festering.

This has to be one of the best articles that I have read so far on Britain’s problem with homegrown terrorism.  I know that it’s not in the most cultured of newspapers, but you have to have a certain amount of respect for such a well known and professionally recognised person and his opinions.

Mad Mel’s Passion

August 5th, 2006
Filed under Current Affairs

melcartoon

Ok, so by now most people would have heard the news that Mel Gibson was arrested for driving under the influence of alcohol last week.  Now, I know that this is now last weeks news, but I haven’t been online at all, so I am now taking the chance to write a post about this event.

Once Mel was in police custody, he started into a barrage of anti-semitic abuse (not to mention his reference to a female police officer as “sugar tits”).  Among Gibson’s attacks on the Jews was “Fucking Jews. . . . The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world.”  Gibson then asked a deputy, “Are you a Jew?”  Great, this from a guy that tried his best to start a cultural war between American Jews and Christians over his film The Passion in an attempt to cash in on the benefits and marketing that the ensuing debating caused.

The film was a top box office seller in anti-semitic Muslim and Arab nations….and not because they care a lick about Christianity.  They simply hate the Jews, just like Mel Gibson.  They blow themselves up to become martyrs and he makes “movies” and engages on drunken tirades.

So now we hear what he really thinks about Jews, when the alcohol made his thoughts flow free, without any publicists or handlers nearby to cleanse them.  Now more than ever, in a time when anti-semitism is at it’s highest since World War II, do the Jewish people deserve an apology from him for his outbursts.  He has apologised to the police that arrested him (presumably that includes “sugar tits”), but there was no specific apology to the Jewish people that he has defamed and attacked.  I won’t hold my breath to hear one though.

Here is the text of his apology:

“After drinking alcohol on Thursday night, I did a number of things that were very wrong and for which I am ashamed. I drove a car when I should not have, and was stopped by the LA County Sheriffs. The arresting officer was just doing his job and I feel fortunate that I was apprehended before I caused injury to any other person. I acted like a person completely out of control when I was arrested, and said things that I do not believe to be true and which are despicable. I am deeply ashamed of everything I said. Also, I take this opportunity to apologize to the deputies involved for my belligerent behavior. They have always been there for me in my community and indeed probably saved me from myself. I disgraced myself and my family with my behavior and for that I am truly sorry. I have battled with the disease of alcoholism for all of my adult life and profoundly regret my horrific relapse. I apologize for any behavior unbecoming of me in my inebriated state and have already taken necessary steps to ensure my return to health.”