What causes arthritis?

A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway next to a priest.
The man’s tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a
half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket.

He opened his newspaper and began reading and after a few minutes he
turned to the priest and asked, ‘Say Father, what causes arthritis?’

The priest replies, ‘My Son, it’s caused by loose living, being with cheap,
wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping
around with prostitutes and lack of a bath.’

The drunk muttered in response, ‘Well, I’ll be damned, ‘ Then returned to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized.
‘I’m very sorry. I didn’t mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?’

The drunk answered, ‘I don’t have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does.’

A co-ranter

I just wanted to share with you a blog presented by a friend of mine who is an excellent ranter and very politicised.



Save the Kinneret

I’ve been reading reports today that the Israeli government is launching an emergency campaign to save the Sea of Galilee from an environmental disaster.

Severe draught has left water levels so low that the lake bed is dry and cracked for several meters until any water can be further into the lake.

The tragedy is that you don’t have to be Jesus Christ anymore to walk here on the Sea of Galilee.

-Gidon Bromberg, Friends Of The Earth

This lake provides a third of all the water in Israel and some people say that mismanagement by the Israeli Water Authorities have left it in this state. Nobody really knows who is to blame, but the point is that something needs to be done before a catastrophe befalls upon this place of beauty, history and social importance.

I spent a few days on the shore of this beautiful lake in January this year and it is a special place that the people of Israel need to look after. It will be hard to conserve water even more so than they already do, but if anybody can manage with less water, it’s the Israelis.

Swimming in The Kinneret

Swimming in The Kinneret

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Fixing Broken Britain

Broken Britain. Or that’s what we are living in if you listen to the many politicians that band this phrase about when talking about British society.

So what is wrong with British society? Well, I could list issues such as rising knife crime, younger pregnancies, increasing amounts of intrusions into civil liberties and ludicrous financial mis-management by the government.

Today in the news I read the story of Samantha Orobator, who could potentially face death by firing squad in Laos if found guilty of trying to smuggle heroin out of the country. So, now charities and her family are demanding that the British Government does something about it and tries to get her released and brought back to Britain. I’m sorry, what? Hard earned tax payers money is going to be spent on sending over the best lawyers to a foreign country to try to secure the release of a women who knew what she was getting into before carrying out the (alleged) crime.

Answer me this, would we not expect a foreigner to be suitably punished by the laws of this land should they commit a crime here? Or would we be ok with them being sent back to their country to go about their life with all the freedom they can wish for.

This and other events over the last six months have got me thinking – how can we Fix Broken Britain? Has it got the point of no return? Can anything be done to restore this country to it’s correct standing in the world?

I’d like to throw my answer into the hat for consideration by the powers that be.

We should make a return to the Victorian era for manners, discipline in our schools and general etiquette within society.

Over the next few weeks I’m going to be blogging about how a return to some Victorian principles can help fix broken Britain.

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Excel Help Needed!!

Hi all and thanks for looking at this page. I need some help!!

Basically, I have a spreadsheet where I need to enter the date automatically based upon what is in column A and column B.

So, column A is the week column (1-4) and column B is the day column (Sat-Fri). I have a grid hidden in the worksheet that shows the dates, based on what the user enters as the period start date (Saturday).

So, I need the cells in column C to do this (natural language):

If column A is equal to 1 and column B is equal to “Sat” then column C will equal the contents of the cell AB8. If column A is equal to 1 and column B is equal to “Sun” then column C will equal the contents of the cell AB9. etc etc etc

Anybody have any ideas as to how I would go about this. My brain has stopped working and I need some pointers.